Friday, October 30, 2009

Insert Fingers in Ears and Commence the LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA's (aka code name: TAHITI*)

Today is one of the high holidays of Halfglassistan.

If you've been paying attention, you knew it was coming: I began a sentimental journey at the beginning of the month, added to it, sprinkled in a few wordless clues here and there, and had the intention of telling the tale of the Wedding Wedding today, its 10th anniversary.

Then we were taking off for TAHITI*

Now, before you go getting all worked up and wondering how the hell Team Wedding can come up with that kind of coin (you know who you are) — let me explain.

Yes, Tahiti is a real place. No, TAHITI* is not. Except how it exists in my mind. Kinda like Cat Con. (In fact, she made all the arrangements. She has the best taste.)

TAHITI* is where there is no cancer. No unemployment. No bills. No agonies of aging parents. No chemo. No scans. No tests. No fevers. No antibiotics. No tubes. No migraines. No scales. No thinning gray hair. No chipped teeth. No weird aches. No insomnia. No fears. No hate. No confusion. No changes. No passive-aggressiveness. And no cancer. Did I say no cancer? That's OK. TAHITI* so doesn't have cancer, it doesn't even have a word for cancer. You can see why I'd be confused.

In TAHITI*, we are always young and beautiful (or, as Cat Con says, younger and beautifuller — because we're never not beautiful). We are always laughing. We are always singing. We are always dancing. We are always loving.

Hmmm. If you've spent any time at all in Halfglassistan, I think you'll realize we've been to TAHITI* before. We do a lot of laughing and singing and dancing regardless of what else is going on. And the loving? Well, we're all about that around here.

In fact, there's no need to tell the story of the Wedding Wedding. Yeah, it's a good one, even in my not-so-humble, oh-so-biased, opinion. But, right now, what happened that day isn't what's important. What's important is that 10 years later, there is not just an anniversary of a beautiful fall evening, but — that there is a Team Wedding. And TWHQ isn't a figment of my imagination, but a real-live place. In the real world. Where all of those not fun things I listed above do exist. 

And we go on in spite of them. We are better because of them. 

We're not celebrating today that I put on a stunning rum-pink satin beaded dress 10 years ago and carried the most gorgeous champagne-colored roses with just a hint of pink at the petals' edges. We're not celebrating that I smiled and kissed Mr. J before our minister even began the ceremony — yet don't even remember doing it, because it was so natural. We're not celebrating that Mr. J and I, from memory, recited vows that each had written to the other. And cried through them, along with everyone else in the room.

No. I've realized that what we're celebrating today is that, 10 years later, I love and respect Mr. J even more than I did that night. Even more than I would have believed possible.

After spending the week among loved ones who, for whatever reasons, have forgotten who they are and what they mean to others — we're celebrating that we still can appreciate who we are together and what we mean to each other. 

After helping another loved one memorialize the husband she lost just five days after their 40th wedding anniversary, we're celebrating that we've at least had 10 together — and praying we have many more.

And, after meaning to leave for TAHITI* yesterday around noon, but being sidetracked — we're celebrating that we get to go to TAHITI* at all.

So, au revoir, y'all.

We're in TAHITI*. See you when (if) we come back.

Mr. and Mrs. Wedding

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Take Care of Your Twins

Breast Cancer Awareness month is almost over.
Go get your ta-tas touched.
Early detection saves lives.

Thing 1 and Thing 2, Dr. Seuss properties ™ and ©1937—2009 

Monday, October 26, 2009

Wedding Wedding X

What a happy face.

I don't know if this is before or after I said my vows 10 years ago. You'd think the presence of the wine glass in my hand would be a clue ... but no.

That is either a "Woo-hoo! Let's do this!" grin, or a "Woo-hoo! We did it!" grin.

Hmm ... I'm thinking the bigger clue is that my makeup still looks fresh — and that, my friends, means it is before the waterworks.

Stay tuned. It's Wedding Wedding week here in Halfglassistan.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Notes To Self

Half-assed thoughts about things that may or may not deserve whole-assed attention:

There is a disturbing amount of gray in my roots.
There is a disturbing amount of scalp at my roots.
Highlights: They're not just for summer any more.

I never again have to worry about birth control.
I must remember daily to take a hormone-filled birth control pill.
I? Am so irony's bitch.

Maximum density was achieved a few months ago.
A few months from now, I could be well on my way to minimizing myself.
Rationalization: The holidays are coming.
Realization: There's always a holiday coming.
Resignation: I need to step away from the chocolate. And the potato chips. And the peanut butter. And the chocolate with potato chips and peanut butter.

Mr. J is having more good days than bad days.
I am having more good days than bad days.
Other shoe? If you're gonna drop, please go ahead and do it.

There's more, but the cacophonous cornucopia that is the capricious collection of concepts that masquerades as my mind is too much today for even my alliterative ass to absorb.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sentimental Journey, part deux

This is one of my favorite pictures of me and Mr. J.

It is the night before our wedding. 

It is also right before I headed over to a hotel to spend the night with my sisters, niece, and parents, and J headed back to our place to spend the night with the cat.

Superstitious gal that I am, I did not want to be seen by my groom before the big moment.

Sentimental (sssh — he thinks people don't know) guy that he is, he didn't want to see me until I was to appear in a doorway on my father's arm.

So we said our goodnights, see-you-tomorrow's, and I-love-you's and parted with the intention of not speaking for another 18 or so hours. 

I think I lasted less than two before I called him from the hotel to hear his voice and tell him again how much I loved him.

(After that, I did hold out until the ceremony, an event with its own story that will be told as I count down to the month-end 10th anniversary of the Wedding Wedding. )

Right now, I'm reveling in a little bit (a lot) of gratitude. I'm grateful that even now, we don't let a lot (very little, usually) of time go by in between I-love-you's.

Neither one of us grew up in families where that phrase was tossed around a lot. 

Yet, now as adults, both of our families are very comfortable with it. I just got off the phone with my Mom, where I easily ended the conversation with "I love you." In fact, it doesn't feel right anymore if I don't. The same is true when I speak with my Dad, all of my sisters (by birth and marriage), my (huge!) extended family, and with many of my friends.

I don't know how it became so easy to say — not to be confused with easy to feel, mind you — expressing love and meaning it holds as much value as it did when I was a child and it was a such a mysterious sentiment. 

So mysterious, I think at one point I might have thought that it was only said when you did get married. Like only on that day. I may have even thought that's where babies came from. (Maybe. For a little while ...)

So I really don't know how it became so easy to say. Cultural changes? Maybe. Therapy? Probably. Confidence? Definitely.

It doesn't really matter, though, why it's easy. It just matters that it is.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'll Take #beatcancer For The Win ...

It's still on, my friends.

It is still so on.

Well, until noon EDT, anyway.

Check yesterday's post (#100, btw) for all the geektastic details. 

And #beatcancer. 


Friday, October 16, 2009

Blogging, Tweeting, and Facebooking, oh my! (#BeatCancer)

OK, my social-media-savvy* subjects, er ... followers, ahh ... readers! 

Readers, yesreaders. That's what you like to be called. 

So — my social-media-savvy* readers —today, Friday October 16, is #BeatCancer day. I know, I know ... coming on the heels of yesterday's proclamation of arbitrary and capricious holidays, you may doubt my veracity.

But this is legit, my friends. And cool as hell, to boot. 

(*keep reading, non-social-media-savvy readers — I promise it will make sense ...)

All you need to do — my social-media-savvy readers — is blog, tweet, or update your FB status with the hashtag #beatcancer. That's it.

And then what happens, you ask? Well, some folks with some very deep pockets will donate $.01 for each mention of #beatcancer. (I KNOW, RIGHT?)

Hmm? How deep are the pockets of these donors, you ask? Well, we're talking EBay/PayPal and MillerCoors Brewing. Hell, I put some of my money in both sets of those pockets just within the past hour (professional dues and a six-pack, but that's not important right now). And I'm cheap. They? EBay/PayPal? MillerCoors? They've got lots of moolah to donate. So make 'em.

And to what, exactly, are they donating? Just some utterly awesome non-profits, all 501(c)(3) and accredited by The American Cancer Society. 

They are: 

SU2C (Stand Up to Cancer)

Alex's Lemonade

Bright Pink 


Spirit Jump .

I know what you're thinking. I do.

You're thinking: "Wow. Just wow. This HalfGlass Chick lets us know about some pretty sweet stuff."

But wait — there's more. (Yeah, I said it.)

There is more: You'll also be helping to set a Guinness Book World Record for the most social media mentions in 24 hours.

(!!!!!!!!! That's just my inner geek spazzing out over being part of a real, live, honest-to-God Guinness Book of World Records record! !!!!!!!!!!! Ooops, there it was again.)

And actually, there is even more. (Wait! What? No, you're not getting a Snuggie®.)

Click on this link:  and see a live, streaming update of all the action.

You just can't get more geek-chic than that.

*And, now, for my non-social-media-savvy-readers (you know who you are — you don't even know what social media means, even if you do use it, Mom. And some others, too, but yeah, this is for you, Mom): it's a lot easier than you think, so don't go all "Oh, I don't know how to do that stuff" on me ... ALL YOU NEED TO DO, MOM, IS TYPE THIS: #beatcancer in your Facebook status. That's the pound sign, b-e-a-t-c-a-n-c-e-r, no spaces typed into the little thingy at the top of your FB page that says "What's on your mind?"

Just type, along with whatever else is on your mind: #beatcancer.

And to think I was trying to think of what to write about today.

'Cause it's kind of a big deal.

It's my 100th post.

So this worked out just fine.

Thanks for playing, guys.

p.s. #beatcancer, #beatcancer, #beatcancer

p.p.s. I love you, Mom :-)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

By Royal Decree ...

As Her Royal Highness Princess Snarkerella, it is my duty (one of many) to consider (many applicants) and determine (eeny-meeny-miney-moe) the High Holidays of Halfglassistan.

[trumpets sound]

[trumpets sound again, as HRH is late to the podium]

[trumpets playing a light jazzy number while HRH is delayed behind the velvet curtain as she fiddles with her hair]

And ...



I — your humble leader — declare (-are, -are, -are) — today (-ay, -ay, -ay)  Overflow Day (-ay, -ay, -ay) — upon which (-itch, -itch — OK, kill the echo effect) — upon which we fill the official drinking vessels of Halfglassistan (Libbey®) until they overflow with hope. 

Why today? Why today? 

I say, "Why not today?" 
We overdose on hope, not because it is easy — but because it is hard. 

Hmmm? What's that, you say? Ummm, yeah — no, I can't take credit for that last turn of phrase — good catch. But — I like it. And — it fits. 

So — go forth, and — hope. 
That is all. 
Carry on. 

CROWD:"Snarkita! Snarkita! Snarkita!" 

ME:"Don't cry for me, Halfglassistanita ... " 

Oh, please — you didn't see that coming?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Angels in Alabama

Athar, Bama's always winning in heaven.
Rest in peace, Pawpaw.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Graphic Details

Hello. ccW here.
I live in the part of Halfglassistan you haven't seen yet. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Follow The Bouncing Ball

Sometimes it takes a PhD designation to decipher my rambling utterances.

PhD, as in someone with a Personal (understanding of) hyperactive (and) Dysfunctional thought processes.

Simply put, someone who can listen to a stuttering monologue of:
"... and so, I'm thinking ... that what it is ... is that maybe ... I need to ... you, know, like when I was ... and I ... it's like ... ahhh ... I know! .... It's like coming off a ... and then ... no, no, no, these are happy tears ... coming off a ... and then ... and I just need to, but I can't ... I don't know why ... well, I guess I can ... you're right, you're right, I know you're right ... but what about ... and if ... okay. ... But — okay."

And then, when I take a deep, shaky, breath, and I look her in the eye, and say:

"Does that make any sense?"

She replies:


And she means it.
Because it does.
Make sense. To her.
Because she knows me.
Because she's a girl. 
Because she's a girl who knows me.

And if you think that those periods of ellipses up there are replacing long, detailed, recollections of events or thoughts previously discussed? 

No. No. Not really.
I have edited precious few words out of the actual conversation.
She's just that good.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Nice Rack!

Get yours checked.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Early detection saves lives.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sentimental Journey

I love those two handsome devils up there. That's Mr. J and Jim, my dear father-in-law. That was snapped on a festive Friday night almost a decade ago when two families came together to celebrate the next day's event.

That's right.

The end of this month marks a big day in Team Wedding Headquarters, and I'm going to spend a little bit of the next few weeks waxing poetic about it. We're coming up on the 10th anniversary of the Wedding Wedding.

Oh, and if you're wondering: "Hmm ... I bet she heard that a lot ..." As in: "Oh! Tee-hee! The Wedding Wedding. Tee-hee!"

Mmmm ... yeah. And we were engaged for 18 months. When, you might ask, did it stop being funny? Probably about day four of week three of month one of that year and a half. When did it stop being sweet?


I love my name. It makes people smile. It's memorable. It's beautiful. I may always have to spell it for people because they're not sure they heard it correctly, but, it didn't take me long to adopt my husband's lickity-split recitation of: "Wedding. W-E-D-D-I-N-G. Just like you're getting married." I suspect that I get far more of the "Oh! Tee-hee!" remarks these days (or ever) because he's a guy and I'm, well, a girl. And I don't help the matter by being a cheesy girl and after hearing "Oh! What a pretty/beautiful/wonderful/sweet/special name!" (usually from another girl) what do I sometimes reply?

"Yep. I got it at my wedding."

Cheesy. I told you.

And I may have added the name Wedding on October 30, 1999, but that just made things all official — like for taxes and babymaking and ending my streak as the first member of my big ol' Catholic family to be (we say this next part in a whisper) living in sin — I was a Wedding woman (yes, it's an actual designation, and a very exclusive one, at that) long before that candlelit fall evening.

What have we learned since then?

Well, hmmm ... all the legal benefits of marriage are a good idea. Babies raised by us are not

And, you might be interested to know that the whole living-together thing became tres chic among my siblings and cousins after I did it. Coincidence? I think not. A trailblazer I am.

But, even though we've always celebrated October 30 — and quite well, I might add — it was just a day that we picked that didn't conflict with the fall college football schedule, and beat the end-of-year deadline (for um, er, taxes ... yeah! that's it! ... not that whole superstitious Y2K thing ... really ... really ... maybe). We've also always celebrated the anniversary of our first date, and honestly, I've always felt much more sentimental about that.

This year, though, is different. Ten years. I'm proud of that. And even as I say that I'm proud of it, it strikes me as a little ridiculous that in the context of "till death do we part," 10 years should seem so monumental. But it is. Especially once you begin to think that "till death" may not be as long as you bargained for when you signed up for this gig.

And — wow — year number 10 has been quite the exclamation point. Everything after this is the bonus round — and I'm gonna play my heart out.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Our Blood Runs Red and Black. And Thick.


My oldest and my youngest bulldawg babies. 

My niece Hilary, almost 19, (Left, at age two. Hilly, you'll be glad to know I cropped out your baby acid-washed jeans. You're welcome.) is babysitting my nephew JC, almost 11 months, (Right, just last month. Really.) today while their moms are in Athens between the hedges.


(sigh — and smile — but, yeah, sigh)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Kind of A Big Deal Around Here

©2009 LAF

Today is LIVESTRONG Day.

Why today? It's a cancerversary. On October 2, 1996, Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with advanced testicular cancer, and before he knew whether he would survive, he started his foundation to fight cancer.

But the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF) does so much more than raise funds or awareness.

It helps people affected by cancer.

It inspires the will to fight — and the courage to keep going.

It keeps you fired up — and channeling your inner badass.

It makes you feel like you're part of something much bigger than yourself — and reminds you that you are never alone.

It reminds you to hang tough and keep believing that prayers will be answered.

It teaches you that "unity is strength, knowledge is power, and attitude is everything." 

It helps people affected by cancer. 
I know. 

And if you've been to Halfglassistan before, you know, too.

If you're new here, just click on those links above and see how a little yellow bracelet, a slogan, and everything they represent carried me and everyone I love through one hell of a year.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

I've Been Felt Up. Have You?

It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 
Get your girls checked.
Early detection saves lives.

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