Still Hopeful, Still Other Things

Dear Universe,

I've been talking to you a lot lately about my plans.

I'm pretty sure you're listening, because I hear an awful lot of laughter. I'm trying very, very hard to understand the messages you're sending back my way, but I'm having some trouble. The only one that's really coming through clearly is the repeated admonition to be patient.

I think I've got that lesson down, thanks. Well, I'm at least clear on the concept. The application is a little more tricky, but again, I'm working on that.

I'm certain you are well aware of my fondness for euphemisms, metaphors and symbolism, clever or otherwise. However, those means of expression tend to work best for me if I'm the one employing them. When communicating to me, perhaps a straightforward approach would be best.

Otherwise, I'm gonna sit around and deconstruct every little message you send me, analyzing your tone, facial expressions, posture, eye contact (or lack of), what you're wearing, what time you showed up (or didn't), and just why you chose that bit of news to be delivered at that time. Or why it hasn't been delivered yet. Or ever.

Because I'm a girl. And that's how I operate. Perhaps you should consult my instruction manual. You wrote it.

You'd think one of us would have figured all of this out by now, and clearly, it's not me.

Something to think about, Universe.

Sincerely,
Me

p.s. I did get the message about the amount of snark I'm putting out there in your atmosphere. Seeing as you have this increasingly annoying habit of being vague in your missives, I am not quite sure though if you, too, were being snarky. So. Until I'm convinced otherwise, I'm sticking with what I know.