Please disregard my letter dated Thursday, March 4.
Clearly, I will need to solve my problems myself. On the off chance that you actually care, I am happy to inform you that this process already has been initiated. Modest improvement has been noted, and I expect full resolution within five to seven days.
I'll keep in touch. Until then, I'll thank you for your cooperation.
p.s. Those fairies sucked. Big time.