So Make The Freakin' Most of It (aka Step Four)

"it's called the circle of life, folks" 

(c)2002-2010 natalie dee 

Step Three

"Twenty years from now you will be 

more disappointed by 

the things you didn't do 

than the ones you did do. 

So throw off the bowlines. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover." 

— mark twain

("and never forget you may not have 20 years to wait" — cat con)

Step 2 and a Half

©2010 workisnotajob

(uh-huh)

Step Two

©2010 workisnotajob

(more to come)

Step One

(stay tuned)

Stick With Me

"Do you need a new mission?" she asked me.


"What? No," I answered. "I don't think I can focus right now."


"But that's what your obsessive mind does: Focuses."


"I know." You think I don't know this, I wondered? I said, "And now it's only focusing on this."


"Exactly."


She had a point.


So I told her she had a point.


I told her my immediate goal was to fix up my home. Make my home my home. I thought of the sharp pointed tips of staples, nails and tacks that would allow me to adorn my walls with pictures to be hung. Drapes to be draped. Pillows to be puffed. Sewn with my own two hands. With pins. And needles.


Pins and needles. Up my spine. (You say down? Good for you. Mine run up. Into my scalp, then make my hair feel like its growing. If it's a really good idea, my tummy clenches. Kinda like I'm gonna hurl. In a good way.)


But she had more than a point. She had the spinning wheel needle with the single drop of Sleeping (or in this case, Crying) Beauty's blood and I was a warrior princess dressed in college-rule-lined sheets of fresh paper. She had a point the equivalent of a bright shiny No. 2 pencil.


But I didn't realize that until later. Just like I didn't realize that I didn't need a new mission.


Well, hell.


I thought my story was about fighting cancer.


Turns out it was about living life.


Who knew?


And the above conversation was two months ago, during which I've been having a hell of a time with my mission — the first of which was to get this post (which I wrote the same day) up.


Turns out living life right now is a hell of a lot like treading water. I've gone under, swallowed chlorine (lots), lost a contact lens (or two) and even had my ass kicked by one hell of an undertow when I jumped headfirst into a wave.


So pardon me while I've taken my time figuring out that's all I've got right now — time.


Or is that I don't have nearly enough?


That's the beauty of being me, procrastiperfectionator extraordinaire. It may take time, but I always, somehow, eventually, often painfully, but ultimately joyfully, get the right answer.

11.8.62 - 11.1.10

I haven't been able to bring myself to do this until now,and am not entirely sure what prompted the action this night (early morning,actually). It all happened so fast and it seems as though the past almost-two months have been one long agonizing day.

But Halfglassistan carries on. Just with all flags at half-staff. And regular operations suspended indefinitely.

Never doubt that all glasses remain half-full. In fact, only half-full forevermore. But also never doubt that Mr. J left the best half remaining. 

I have plenty to say, just not the strength to turn any of it into coherent thought. And though my best muse may no longer be by my side, he is still with me.

And something tells me he'll let me know when the time is right.

Until then, I remain living on love. Living. On. Love.

Team Wedding

©1999 ccw/halfglassistan

The 11th anniversary of the Wedding Wedding, and the 13th anniversary of the day I fell in love with Mr. J are quickly approaching.

Snapped somewhere in that magic hour between a Friday as boyfriend and girlfriend and the Saturday in which we'd become husband and wife, that picture above is one of my favorites.

I look at our faces and see so much love and all of the hope and promise of a future stretching before us. And now, I still can look at that picture and see the very same thing.

If I had the chance to do it all again — I'd always choose to do it all again.

Because what Mr. J told me so many years ago has always held true.

We've lived on love, baby. We've lived on love.

Wordless "Breathe, Breathe, Breathe" Wednesday

Still Kind of A Big Deal Around Here

The following post is from one year ago today and was titled Kind of A Big Deal Around Here.

It still is.

Always will be.

And it's worth repeating.

Enjoy ... And LIVESTRONG.

©LAF

Today is LIVESTRONG Day.

Why today? It's a cancerversary. On October 2, 1996, Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with advanced testicular cancer, and before he knew whether he would survive, he started his foundation to fight cancer.

But the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF) does so much more than raise funds or awareness.
It helps people affected by cancer.

It inspires the will to fight — and the courage to keep going.

It keeps you fired up — and channeling your inner badass.

It makes you feel like you're part of something much bigger than yourself — and reminds you that you are never alone.

It reminds you to hang tough and keep believing that prayers will be answered.

It teaches you that "unity is strength, knowledge is power, and attitude is everything." 

It helps people affected by cancer. 

I know. 

And if you've been to Halfglassistan before, you know, too.

If you're new here, just click on those links above and see how a little yellow bracelet, a slogan, and everything they represent carried me and everyone I love through one hell of a year.

LIVESTRONG.