No-o-o-o-o-o. It's not white wine. But it was after a wee glass of Riesling, and a very short (that's all it took; he's that good) conversation with Mr. J, that I quickly was reminded of what's gotten us this far.
Faith. Gratitude. Love.
I've always wanted to be honest and authentic here in Halfglassistan, and just a few days ago, I was painfully true to that goal. What I lost sight of, however, was my greater goal of maintaining some measure (no matter how small it might seem sometimes) of positivity. It's easy to give in. It takes strength to keep faith.
I also lost sight of the founding tenet of life here in Halfglassistan: gratitude. I'm grateful for how far we've come. I'm grateful that throughout this whole journey,we've been able to say, "It could always (always) be worse." I'm grateful that every time we said that, it actually was true. I'm grateful that now, more than ever, it actually is still true. It's easy to see how much better things could be. It takes strength to see how good they actually are.
Perhaps worst of all, I lost sight of the fundamental core of Team Wedding. When Mr. J and I were first dating and low on funds, he turned to me and said, "That's OK. We'll live on love, baby." I think, at the time, it may have been said half (or wholly) in jest. The original intent doesn't matter. Twelve years later, and I've never forgotten the sound of his voice saying it.
That's my missing ingredient. It's not in the recipe, it's not on the shopping list, it's not in any freakin' store -- and it sure as hell isn't in Riesling. I couldn't find it anywhere I looked, because it wasn't hidden. It never has been. We eat it, we drink it, we breathe it.
We live on love, baby. We live on love.